Getting Old

23 Des

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel  smelling slightly of  a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after  image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).

The  gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes  a  sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, do I come here often?”

<><><><><><><>

An elderly gentleman had serious  hearing problems for a number of  years. He went to the doctor  and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids  that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly  gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”

<><><><><><><>

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full  of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age.  How do you  feel?”

Slim says, “I feel just like a new-born baby.”

“Really!? Like a new-born baby!?”

“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants”

<><><><><><><>

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after  eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.  I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said,  “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man  thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… the one that’s red and has thorns.”

“Do you mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

<><><><><><><>

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student  nurse, I found one elderly gentleman– already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet–who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat  about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the  elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting  him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

Tinggalkan Balasan

Isikan data di bawah atau klik salah satu ikon untuk log in:

Logo WordPress.com

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Logout / Ubah )

Gambar Twitter

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Logout / Ubah )

Foto Facebook

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Logout / Ubah )

Foto Google+

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Logout / Ubah )

Connecting to %s

%d blogger menyukai ini: